I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he thought i was a dude.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
