The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
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Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
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Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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