If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
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You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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