how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
