hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Your penis caused this!
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
