So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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