Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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