just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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