My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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