Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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