dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
