I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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