Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I have already put on my inside pants.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize