He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
