just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
