girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
