youre lurking in front of me
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize