I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
