Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
