But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
