Whod you bang
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
