wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Will exercising make me less horny?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
