just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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