I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I pour the whiskey from now on
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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