ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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