he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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