yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
