I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
