if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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