Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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