whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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