puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
