I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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