it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
