She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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