I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
