Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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