i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Two words: nipple clamps
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