Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
