too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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