the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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