My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
