eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
