Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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