Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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