Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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