I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
