he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize