hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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