STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
