I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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