who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
