found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
