I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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