it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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