You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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