My hair reeks of homosexuality.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
