I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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