I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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