Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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