Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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