That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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