So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
did you just send me my own nude
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
