Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
