I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
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I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
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He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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